Our peace and planet are being destroyed right before our eyes, and we are told to "self-care" as our bloodthirsty officials are profiting off our sufferings.
Thank you Ruth !!!!!!!!!! I agree wholeheartedly. Your words reminded me of mark fisher, who says that mental health is a direct cause of capitalism, whilst capitalism profits from your subordinate state, and then Eva Illouz, who is an icon in sociology, says that therapy regulates you to function within our capitalist system. Like western therapy only liberated you enough so you are able to work again (writing right now about these two, trying to connect them).
Yes!! In a sick system, until we don’t heal the system, everything that is offered to us is just placebo to keep us put in place and not rise up ! Cannot wait to read your piece, I’m loving reading all the takes on the subject because we all come to the same conclusion by pointing out different issues and it just shows how everything is interconnected because they all spiral into capitalism!
I love how you started with self care and ended with community wellness. I also love how you are taking the time to reply to everyone here.
I’m thinking about how to build community on Substack. It’s not the only place- just one place. I think of Substack potentially as a place where we support each other.
I am so glad you enjoyed this piece! It’s something that i have been thinking about for a long time! Regarding Substack, it truly has the potential to build well minded communities and collective solidarity! If anything, I feel like this platform is made for it, because the focus is long form content meaning, allowing us all to theorise and share knowledge and skills to better organise! I have found myself hanging over here a lot because, people’s vulnerability through their articles really something that was lacking, we get to develop our thoughts deeper and connect with each other, it is a place to start in order to then transpose the knowledge and understanding we got here to our everyday life and the community we build irl 🤗
fb blocked my account recently and the one thing I miss is the geography- being connected on social media to people who are in the same place.
Yes I do agree with you on the long form. The ability to theorize and muse. Thank you for putting it that way. I haven’t really tapped into Substack’s potential for that.
You gave me something to think about as I haven’t been as freely communicating my political and social self of the Stack the way I did on the ‘book.
The platform feels like it’s growing in real time.
I joined Substack for that very reason, express my political beliefs on digital paper in hope for people to understand my thought processes and why I am so fond of liberation and freedom and just decency for all. Sometimes, explaining things out loud can be frustrating because we don’t all process information the same way, and being able to read at your own pace, leaves space for people to take things in better and hopeful understand the breakdown and the importance of certain subjects/concepts!
It’s freeing to just write and let people take everything in on their own, I just laid the foundation so people can then build on top of it with their own knowledge and experience ! I hope you get to share more of your processes with us on this platform, it is growing and truly the community is a hopeful one 🥹
This is such an amazing piece, Ruth! We’ve been stuck in this constant cycle of madness under capitalism and it’s so difficult to get out of it because it seems every road leads back again to capitalism. I like that you didn’t leave us without an answer: community. Thank you so much for this.
When are we going to give up self-love....and instead take action by taking care of each other? I crave community that recognizes this, but not finding it anywhere. I try small actions towards others, but there could be so much more accomplished if more people recognized what you're saying here. Thank you for taking the time to say it.
yup yup, 100% this. The 'self care' trap is set by the same people as the 'lean in' feminism trap. "You're a powerhouse, you can work two jobs, start your own business AND home school your three kids! Women are just built different like that!!" No, John, you just want me to do all the crap so we don't have to talk about how we're all considering polyamory because two salaries are no longer enough.
Lol he does! I also really resonate with your thought that the ‘self care’ we are offered by magazines and tv is mostly ‘ignore the root of your issues and just go to a nice spa’ type. I have at least 3 friends who have dead serious told me ‘yeah I know it’s a kind of privileged position but I’m not following the war in Gaza, for my own self-care. It’s too much for me.’ ….Whereas the rest of us, I suppose, really thrive on seeing children made limbless. It does feel like a divorce from one’s soul, going ‘I’m going to protect myself by closing my eyes really tight and singing lalalalalala so I can’t see and hear the horrors’. Also none of them seem less frazzled and anxious so I don’t think it’s working.
I distanced myself from the friends who were acting in such fashion! Deciding not to follow a genocide in broad daylight for your own comfort is a batshit crazy decision!! Don’t get me wrong not being on social media 24/7 seeing blown up limbs is necessary for our own sanity but completely turning your back to catastrophe caused by our western government and keeping oneself ignorant about what is really happening with our tax money and indirect support thru our effed up officials, is wild! This is not self-care, this is openly choosing ignorance, and there is a difference!
Absolutely. I differentiate strongly between ‘oh I don’t want to see the graphic images but I am supportive of the cause’ and ‘oh I dont want to know about it because it makes me question my own western morality so that’s uncomfortable’.
Wow, your writing resonates with me so much. I really liked the burning house metaphor to capitalism! I think besides putting the fire out and building a new house, people need to make a collective choice (mentally) to ditch the system and the individualistic way of thinking it encourages, because this system (I feel) is so engrained in our thinking that physical changes aren’t enough. Your promoting community action is such a hopeful way to end the (to me: sad) article, and I thank you for that!!
Yes!! We all need to get get cleansed from all the neoliberal capitalistic nonsense we have been hammered to and build a new way of coming together that heavily relies on community! I am so happy to read that this piece resonated with you! Thank you for reading it and interacting with me ♥️
This is a convo I think a lot of us are grappling with daily at this point. How to balance genuine self-care (not the capitalistic, hyper-individualistic & shaming version), with community care. What do these things look like in truth when we strip them down & out of the brand they’ve been marketed to become?
Man while I can agree with the concept that taking care of yourself is important, the entire industry of “self-care” that's pushed onto women as if a $100 candle or some overpriced bubble bath and a journal can somehow correct all the decades of systemic failures is absolutely infuriating. And doctors that tell you that “it's probably stress related” can actually please die in a fire.
Self care is the work that takes just enough space so that we don't notice those beheaded babies, too. Additionally, what I see especially in my circle of friends, all of us around 30, is putting huge amounts of energy to pivot to a better career, become better at what we're already doing, get more skills, become more hireable. All of that because we will for sure all feel more safe in this mess of a world with a more stable career situation - while precarity is the whole modus operandi. All of us go to therapy, are trying to exercise, somehow take care of our bodies and stay on top of bloodwork and meds - because we're also shamed with diet culture and healthism everywhere. It's like it's beneficial for the system for us to not be looking.
That is such an interesting point you brought up about you and your friends working towards better career to escape precarity because when you think of it, the more stable you are financially, the less you care about others because since “you made it” others can too and so it’s “their fault” if they’re not making it! But to reach this level of financial comfort you have to kill yourself to work, tire yourself out to great extent to then turn your back on empathy when you made it… and yes it’s totally beneficial to this society not to have us look, hence the push to be busy all, or how we call it “productive” all the time! The less time you have for yourself and the more tired you are from productive the less time you have to truly see the world for what it is! Everything is designed to have ignorant on what’s really happening to us so we don’t rise up!
I personally don't think it's even likely we would ever reach financial stability through killing ourselves at work. It's the struggle and the constant 'making ourselves better' that's the task that's being given, without the reward very much in reach at all.
I’m so confused, you start off the essay by saying that you crying from frustration is just self-care and that its not enough. But what you described is not something that participates in the self care industry, it is you tending to your emotions. I think you’re beating yourself up in a way that is unhealthy
I’m not beating myself up, I’ve stated that this crying session that I had, is a way of I take care of myself and my emotions (which is self care) and then it got me thinking about the whole self-care industry and how it operates because whatever we do to feel better and take care in face of injustice is not helping, because what we need if community organising and collective solidarity and strength and not just being left alone and divided! I think coming to the conclusion that I am beating myself up when you don’t know a person is a bit of reach, because we all have different ways to deal with struggles and life. For me beating myself up would be to not do anything about it and just isolate myself and I am not, I am creating community and collective solidarity around me so I can truly take care of myself 🙃
If you read the passage about my crying session, I say it is a result to me being enraged, and I finish the paragraph then saying “In general, what we are being told about self care is not healing ourselves…” emphasis on “In general” from my enraged crying session because of witnessing an ongoing genocide where people are throwing self care left and right to cope and shield themselves from bearing witness, it then led me to rethinking the whole self care realm generally. I hope it’s clearer 🥲
It is, and thank you for your input! That’s why I gave you a clearer explanation as this introduction was a segway to the body of the article. I wanted to display what led me to write about this subject in particular and this crying session was the kicker
Thank you Ruth !!!!!!!!!! I agree wholeheartedly. Your words reminded me of mark fisher, who says that mental health is a direct cause of capitalism, whilst capitalism profits from your subordinate state, and then Eva Illouz, who is an icon in sociology, says that therapy regulates you to function within our capitalist system. Like western therapy only liberated you enough so you are able to work again (writing right now about these two, trying to connect them).
Yes!! In a sick system, until we don’t heal the system, everything that is offered to us is just placebo to keep us put in place and not rise up ! Cannot wait to read your piece, I’m loving reading all the takes on the subject because we all come to the same conclusion by pointing out different issues and it just shows how everything is interconnected because they all spiral into capitalism!
I love how you started with self care and ended with community wellness. I also love how you are taking the time to reply to everyone here.
I’m thinking about how to build community on Substack. It’s not the only place- just one place. I think of Substack potentially as a place where we support each other.
I am so glad you enjoyed this piece! It’s something that i have been thinking about for a long time! Regarding Substack, it truly has the potential to build well minded communities and collective solidarity! If anything, I feel like this platform is made for it, because the focus is long form content meaning, allowing us all to theorise and share knowledge and skills to better organise! I have found myself hanging over here a lot because, people’s vulnerability through their articles really something that was lacking, we get to develop our thoughts deeper and connect with each other, it is a place to start in order to then transpose the knowledge and understanding we got here to our everyday life and the community we build irl 🤗
fb blocked my account recently and the one thing I miss is the geography- being connected on social media to people who are in the same place.
Yes I do agree with you on the long form. The ability to theorize and muse. Thank you for putting it that way. I haven’t really tapped into Substack’s potential for that.
You gave me something to think about as I haven’t been as freely communicating my political and social self of the Stack the way I did on the ‘book.
The platform feels like it’s growing in real time.
I joined Substack for that very reason, express my political beliefs on digital paper in hope for people to understand my thought processes and why I am so fond of liberation and freedom and just decency for all. Sometimes, explaining things out loud can be frustrating because we don’t all process information the same way, and being able to read at your own pace, leaves space for people to take things in better and hopeful understand the breakdown and the importance of certain subjects/concepts!
It’s freeing to just write and let people take everything in on their own, I just laid the foundation so people can then build on top of it with their own knowledge and experience ! I hope you get to share more of your processes with us on this platform, it is growing and truly the community is a hopeful one 🥹
This is such an amazing piece, Ruth! We’ve been stuck in this constant cycle of madness under capitalism and it’s so difficult to get out of it because it seems every road leads back again to capitalism. I like that you didn’t leave us without an answer: community. Thank you so much for this.
The power of the people will always prevail over the people in power! We need each other more than ever! ♥️
When are we going to give up self-love....and instead take action by taking care of each other? I crave community that recognizes this, but not finding it anywhere. I try small actions towards others, but there could be so much more accomplished if more people recognized what you're saying here. Thank you for taking the time to say it.
So glad it resonates with you 🥹I’m hopeful that people are taking small steps into collective solidarity where true self-care can be applied!
yup yup, 100% this. The 'self care' trap is set by the same people as the 'lean in' feminism trap. "You're a powerhouse, you can work two jobs, start your own business AND home school your three kids! Women are just built different like that!!" No, John, you just want me to do all the crap so we don't have to talk about how we're all considering polyamory because two salaries are no longer enough.
John needs to be put back in his lane quick !!! And yes, totally agree with you!!
Lol he does! I also really resonate with your thought that the ‘self care’ we are offered by magazines and tv is mostly ‘ignore the root of your issues and just go to a nice spa’ type. I have at least 3 friends who have dead serious told me ‘yeah I know it’s a kind of privileged position but I’m not following the war in Gaza, for my own self-care. It’s too much for me.’ ….Whereas the rest of us, I suppose, really thrive on seeing children made limbless. It does feel like a divorce from one’s soul, going ‘I’m going to protect myself by closing my eyes really tight and singing lalalalalala so I can’t see and hear the horrors’. Also none of them seem less frazzled and anxious so I don’t think it’s working.
I distanced myself from the friends who were acting in such fashion! Deciding not to follow a genocide in broad daylight for your own comfort is a batshit crazy decision!! Don’t get me wrong not being on social media 24/7 seeing blown up limbs is necessary for our own sanity but completely turning your back to catastrophe caused by our western government and keeping oneself ignorant about what is really happening with our tax money and indirect support thru our effed up officials, is wild! This is not self-care, this is openly choosing ignorance, and there is a difference!
Absolutely. I differentiate strongly between ‘oh I don’t want to see the graphic images but I am supportive of the cause’ and ‘oh I dont want to know about it because it makes me question my own western morality so that’s uncomfortable’.
Self help for enduring a real-time genocide in 2024… what a novel concept..
How about we retain some human dignity and we each take a part in moulding the world we want to live in, instead of enslaving to this one..
🇵🇸💔🙏
Wow, your writing resonates with me so much. I really liked the burning house metaphor to capitalism! I think besides putting the fire out and building a new house, people need to make a collective choice (mentally) to ditch the system and the individualistic way of thinking it encourages, because this system (I feel) is so engrained in our thinking that physical changes aren’t enough. Your promoting community action is such a hopeful way to end the (to me: sad) article, and I thank you for that!!
Yes!! We all need to get get cleansed from all the neoliberal capitalistic nonsense we have been hammered to and build a new way of coming together that heavily relies on community! I am so happy to read that this piece resonated with you! Thank you for reading it and interacting with me ♥️
This is a convo I think a lot of us are grappling with daily at this point. How to balance genuine self-care (not the capitalistic, hyper-individualistic & shaming version), with community care. What do these things look like in truth when we strip them down & out of the brand they’ve been marketed to become?
Thank you for writing this.
Man while I can agree with the concept that taking care of yourself is important, the entire industry of “self-care” that's pushed onto women as if a $100 candle or some overpriced bubble bath and a journal can somehow correct all the decades of systemic failures is absolutely infuriating. And doctors that tell you that “it's probably stress related” can actually please die in a fire.
So well said Ruth - thank you for writing this ❤️❤️❤️
Glad you resonated with it 🥹🥰
Self care is the work that takes just enough space so that we don't notice those beheaded babies, too. Additionally, what I see especially in my circle of friends, all of us around 30, is putting huge amounts of energy to pivot to a better career, become better at what we're already doing, get more skills, become more hireable. All of that because we will for sure all feel more safe in this mess of a world with a more stable career situation - while precarity is the whole modus operandi. All of us go to therapy, are trying to exercise, somehow take care of our bodies and stay on top of bloodwork and meds - because we're also shamed with diet culture and healthism everywhere. It's like it's beneficial for the system for us to not be looking.
That is such an interesting point you brought up about you and your friends working towards better career to escape precarity because when you think of it, the more stable you are financially, the less you care about others because since “you made it” others can too and so it’s “their fault” if they’re not making it! But to reach this level of financial comfort you have to kill yourself to work, tire yourself out to great extent to then turn your back on empathy when you made it… and yes it’s totally beneficial to this society not to have us look, hence the push to be busy all, or how we call it “productive” all the time! The less time you have for yourself and the more tired you are from productive the less time you have to truly see the world for what it is! Everything is designed to have ignorant on what’s really happening to us so we don’t rise up!
I personally don't think it's even likely we would ever reach financial stability through killing ourselves at work. It's the struggle and the constant 'making ourselves better' that's the task that's being given, without the reward very much in reach at all.
I’m so confused, you start off the essay by saying that you crying from frustration is just self-care and that its not enough. But what you described is not something that participates in the self care industry, it is you tending to your emotions. I think you’re beating yourself up in a way that is unhealthy
I’m not beating myself up, I’ve stated that this crying session that I had, is a way of I take care of myself and my emotions (which is self care) and then it got me thinking about the whole self-care industry and how it operates because whatever we do to feel better and take care in face of injustice is not helping, because what we need if community organising and collective solidarity and strength and not just being left alone and divided! I think coming to the conclusion that I am beating myself up when you don’t know a person is a bit of reach, because we all have different ways to deal with struggles and life. For me beating myself up would be to not do anything about it and just isolate myself and I am not, I am creating community and collective solidarity around me so I can truly take care of myself 🙃
If you read the passage about my crying session, I say it is a result to me being enraged, and I finish the paragraph then saying “In general, what we are being told about self care is not healing ourselves…” emphasis on “In general” from my enraged crying session because of witnessing an ongoing genocide where people are throwing self care left and right to cope and shield themselves from bearing witness, it then led me to rethinking the whole self care realm generally. I hope it’s clearer 🥲
I think what I’m really commenting on is how those sentences are constructed. Thought it might be useful to know how it comes across.
It is, and thank you for your input! That’s why I gave you a clearer explanation as this introduction was a segway to the body of the article. I wanted to display what led me to write about this subject in particular and this crying session was the kicker